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Monthly Archives: February 2013

My First

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Of course, no other country deserves my first ever solo trip. It has to be Taiwan! I am embarking on a exciting and scary journey for a week this coming April. The timing is great because I have been struggling for awhile now to fight for my own happiness. I am so done putting others before me, I want to minimize that as much as possible from now on and focus on myself. I really do have a worn out heart… People are busy pursuing their own stuff, and so I should start pursuing mine. I’ve worried about friendships, relationships, depriving myself sometimes of the good this life can offer because I didn’t want to lose them. Turns out, all of them are okay losing me. So I am so happy at my progress. I am putting my family first, because they are the ones who will always, always be there for me.

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Maybe one day I’ll be what you need.

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It’s tough to be always reminded of the consequences of a mistake, a one time mistake you hate to be reminded if so often. But trust me for God knows it is a million times worse for the person who got cheated on. Something cheaters will never understand.

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Why don’t I have big goals in life? Does that make me less of a person? All I’m trying to do is survive in this world, day by day, and I am almost ashamed to say I don’t really know what to do with my life other than to survive. I do what I can today and feel lucky if I make it through. I feel so blessed to wake up every single day, with the goal of at least surviving the day. No big, fancy goals to reach by the time I reach a certain age, I feel content just being alive, and being able to touch the lives of the people I come across in this lifetime, in small ways but mine nonetheless.

Then I came across this quote from Pinterest.
Describes where I am in my life right now. I am
at a point where I am not necessarily looking
for escapes from my life. Sure, vacations are nice, but I
am just as happy being here. With my dogs, my family, my friends, the good food this city offers (being able to eat lechon anytime has to be on top of the list), and the thrill of discovering new restaurants and experiencing happiness from a plate or a cup is great, too. I wonder if someone can have the chance to grow, and truly be happy and fulfilled staying in one place for a lifetime. Because it is common for people to move away to seek new challenges and motivations, but quite uncommon that people willingly stay. Can we seek growth and fulfillment if we stay where we are, are these things achieved through external factors and not from our hearts and minds?

I have finally come to terms that the power to be happy lies in our hands. It is such a cliche, but we really choose what reactions to have towards the situations life presents us with. Of course, we can choose to be mad, to be hurt, to be disappointed, but hopefully we make sure these negative responses don’t last long in our system. At the end of the day, we must forgive others, and forgiving has nothing to do with the other person, it takes place in our minds, like the famous saying goes. Because once we forgive, we take away their power to affect us. I also learned that it is just as important to forgive ourselves, for allowing other people to hurt and affect us negatively. Ingratitude is the root of all misery.

Turns out, we are the only ones responsible for our own happiness. Hooray! I wish everyone would realize this. It is not as easy as it sounds, but it really is just realizing we must not let our happiness depend on something or someone, because either can easily be lost, especially another person. Once you’re not on their list of priorities anymore, once they find someone to replace you for what you cannot offer, you must accept the things you can and cannot change and respond accordingly.

When you lose the reasons for your happiness, you lose yourself, as well. So it’s best not to have tangible reasons for being happy.

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This is true, but it doesn’t stop people from being thirsty for more. Always for more.