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Monthly Archives: June 2013

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I’m turning 30 this July. I’m surprised I’m not fussing about it like I thought I would. I guess it made little difference by the time I was 27, it just didn’t feel any different after that. It feels liberating, sort of but not quite. My friend says I’ll love being 40. I cannot wait, actually!

 

Only I will be reminded when I fill up forms, or when people ask for my age because I am not married yet, or that I look ridiculously immature for my age. Right now I am acting poorly but hiding it well. I’m jealous and insecure again. The “friend” is in town for the weekend. Isn’t that great? Actually, it really is even though I meant for it to be sarcastic. I’m glad GH will get a break from school and the “friend” knows how much she loves basketball so she took her to a game tonight, and then dinner date. Tomorrow is for gambling, relaxing. I should just shut up right now and be happy for them. Her. Whatever.

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WHY?

Why am I so heartless about it? I have not cried, she already left and I feel fine. Right now, at least. For now, I seem fine.

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Today I had my eyes done. Partly because there is a scar in my right eye that I wanted to fix, but mostly for vanity. I hate to admit it but I worry about when I’m older. So I’m preventing it. It’s nothing major, though. It’s not operation, it is a very good procedure that I know very well. Right now it hurts a little but I am excited about the results. I shall write more about it because the blurry vision just isn’t helping muh.

Doctors

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After years of enduring this upper back pain,  there is finally a glimmer of hope. I had an x-ray in Taiwan where the doctor ordered for cervical traction, but I went to see Dr. Anota in Perpetual Succour Hospital and her initial diagnosis is muscle spasm, and did not recommend for cervical traction right away. So I’m trying out my first week of physical therapy with two great therapists, Chai and Gerard. Both are really professional and gentle with me and I greatly appreciate it because I truly am in pain. I like that Gerard is very confident that I will get better. I was starting to suspect there was something wrong with my heart, due to the difficulty of breathing this has caused me. I already had two sessions so far, and I don’t feel better yet but my muscles are sore from the massage and stretching, but I do feel good about this because it seems like I really will get better in time. 

Then my new dentist, whom I really like, tells me I need braces for my lower teeth. Because I already have TMJ and it’s causing my migraines. Which makes sense because I only have migraines on the right side of my head, and the TMJ happens to be on the right side so there are a lot of pinched nerves. So maybe I will get it done, too.

This year proves to be challenging financially but then again, it is for my health and I will try to negotiate with her the modes of payment if I decide to go through with it. I am concerned I will look silly with the braces at this age, but when I think of migraine-free days, I don’t really care about looking silly anymore.

So far, I really like the two female doctors that I’ve been seeing. They give me hope, I seem to have found the right people for my illnesses. Couldn’t be happier about that.